Management Jokes for Monday

Some management jokes to lighten up Monday.

January 29th, 2006 at 6:43pm — Comments: (6) — By: Jonathan Danylko — Tags: Humor

I thought I would pass on some humor for Monday just to get it kick-started. :-)

Lesson 1:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 2:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a forenight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 3:

A little bird was flying South for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

 

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Jonathan Danylko is a freelance web architect and avid programmer who has been programming for over 20 years. He has developed various systems in numerous industries including e-commerce, biotechnology, real estate, health, insurance, and utility companies.

When asked what he likes doing in his spare time, he answers..."programming."

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6 Comments

  1. Ramana M.V
    December 6th, 2007 at 11:03am
    Very good jokes and Lessons
  2. chandrasekar reguraman
    October 29th, 2008 at 9:16pm
    Very good to think as it taught lesson to us
  3. rashid
    December 28th, 2008 at 10:24pm
    good jokes giving lessons.
  4. Suwastika
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:08pm
    One of the best managment jokes site which is full of lessons for the managment personnel in organisations. These jokes are highly connected to reality
  5. March 8th, 2010 at 2:53pm
    very good nd intresting lessons.
  6. Harry
    December 6th, 2011 at 3:24am
    Lesson 3 makes no sense, I recall the story different. The cat takes the bird out of the shit licks it clean and eats it. , explaining when someone takes you out of the shit does not have to mean he is your friend.

    And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut, this was never found in the original. Makes no sense also

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